I’m Sorry

As I’m sitting in my dorm room, by myself, I hear the white noise coming from the fridge, along with the incessant noise of New York City. And my heart feels so…empty. As much as my family continues to remain a big cross for me to carry throughout my life, it is my family that I cannot stop loving.

I can’t help but to feel nothing but sorry to my beloved, as I sit and realize that I can count with my ten fingers how many days I’ll actually spend with them during this break. I recently told my sister, in response to her desire to “run away” from the family problem, that I’m trying my best to deal with what has been given in my life.

But I’m sitting and wondering — maybe I am the one constantly running away from this huge cross on my shoulder, secretly sighing with a sense of relief.

I don’t know, really… But I’m sorry.